A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) - 5/5 stars

Release: 1984

Director: Wes Craven

Writer: Wes Craven

Cast: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, John Saxon, Johnny Depp, Amanda Wyss, Ronee Blakley, Jsu Garcia, Charles Fleischer, Joseph Whipp, Lin Shaye, Joe Unger, Mimi Craven, Jack Shea, Ed Call

Soundtrack: Charles Bernstein

Claim to fame: the movie that made put Wes Craven on the map and introduced Freddy Krueger (and Johnny Depp!) to the world

Rating: 5/5 stars

Before we dive headfirst into a review "A Nightmare on Elm Street," let me preface things by saying: Wes Craven was an English and Philosophy professor before getting into the film business. There have been times in his career when he has seemed to have his finger directly on the pulse of whatever issue is plaguing America's subconscious.

The man knows how to scare his audience. What he does not know, however, is how to write dialogue for teenagers.

It's real kids - with real problems!

If the uninitiated boot up "A Nightmare on Elm Street" for the first time, they might be struck by the silliness of lines that include "Hey, up yours with a twirling lawn mower!" and "Screw your [hall] pass!"

They might also find the acting of lead Helen Langenkamp to be a bit on the amateurish side. As such, these folks might write off the movie entirely as a dated mess from the 80's. And that would be a shame.

Oh Heather, but we love your hair

Because I'm here to argue that "Nightmare" is one of the most imaginative and finely crafted horror movies of the past 30 years. It's one of those movies I wish I could view again for the first time, just to experience the awe and terror of some of its most memorable scenes: most particularly the sequence where Freddy Krueger first emerges from the darkness of an alleyway to taunt Tina.

The lighting and shot composition in this film are impeccable: everything is framed and lit perfectly to evoke the sinking dread of a dream you can't wake up from, and the vast power of someone who could actually manipulate your dream space. Wes Craven was really at the peak of his considerable talents with "Nightmare."

Screenshots can't really do this scene justice; you have to watch

the movie to see just how wet and atmospheric this corridor is

Wes Craven's choice of camera angles and shot composition is just brilliant

Although his impact has been lessened over the years, thanks to being printed on t-shirts and watered down by oneliner-spouting sequels, watch "A Nightmare on Elm Street" again and you'll realize just how scary Freddy Krueger is. He is a sick, sick bastard.

There are moments in this movie, blink-and-you'll-miss-them moments, that are truly deranged. Freddy peels off his face, slices off his fingers, and cuts his own body open just to freak out the teenagers on Elm Street (his body is filled with green pus and maggots, in case you're wondering).

Oh that Freddy Kreuger, he'll do anything for a laugh

How about the scene where Freddy Krueger sticks his face through a small window in the door of Nancy's house, literally *wearing* the skin Tina's face and talking in her voice, before casually ripping it off and taunting Nancy as Freddy again? Freddy declares "I'm your boyfriend now" and then licks Nancy's face - through the bottom receiver of a telephone.

Freddy takes crank calls to a whole new level

Combine that with the fact that Craven wisely filmed Freddy almost exclusively in shadows - we never get a full glimpse of his face and makeup - and you start to realize just why audiences were scared shitless by Robert Englund back in 1984. Before he joined the ranks of Pinhead and Chucky as "slasher movie monsters kids wish they could hang out with," Freddy was truly the stuff of nightmares.

Freddy under the covers: another blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment

that I just love

What's so great great is, cornball dialogue aside, the kids in this movie are likable. It's not like "Friday the 13th" where the audience is salaciously encouraged to root for the demise of a bunch of unlikeable jocks and sluts. Nancy isn't just the "good girl" - she's a good person. She tries to be there for her friends and she manages to be more mature than both her parents; her mother is a full-bore alcoholic while her father is consumed by his job as a police officer.

The movie is not a portrait of what happens when a demonic monster invades picture-perfect suburbia. Even before Freddy rears his flame-broiled head, the cracks are showing. In "Nightmare," not only are teenagers forced to suffer for the sins of their parents, but parental units are completely ineffectual. The scene where Nancy's mother slaps her daughter across the face still shocks me every time it happens.

There's an interesting subtext of the movie where Nancy and adults around her perceive her to be aging faster due to the stress of Freddy's return. At one point Nancy looks in a mirror and remarks, "I look 20 years-old." I think this is more than just a canny nod to the fact that Hollywood frequent casts 20-somethings as 15 year-olds. Due to her parents' refusal to atone for the actions of their past and the fact that they themselves escape from reality through alcohol or work, Nancy is forced to grow up a hell of a lot faster than normal.

During one of her more tense nightmares, Nancy returns from the dream world with Freddy's fedora - the first sign that she might actually be able to harm the murderer - and a newly grayed lock of hair on her head. She takes something from Freddy, but he's taken something from her.

Nancy also happens ludicrously brave. She devises her own plan to lure Freddy out of her dreams and into the real world so he can be rendered mortal and defeated. She counts on her lunkheaded boyfriend, played by Johnny Depp, to help her out but he doesn't take her serious enough. Take note, this is probably the one time in his career when Johnny Depp could be considered a total dork.

"Glen, you bastard…I just asked you to do one thing, to stay awake and watch me and to wake me up if it looked like I was having a bad dream, and what did you do, you shit? You fell asleep."

In the 80's, you really could buy a shirt "half off"

Nancy doesn't wait to die; she lays traps and antipersonnel weapons (seriously) around her house to stop Freddy in his tracks. And it almost works too, until we get to the studio-dictated twist ending where Freddy lives and Nancy is trapped in a seemingly never-ending cycle of torment ("Hey! Your friends and family are alive and well, but only so Freddy can keep killing them over and over again!").

Although this creative infringement caused Craven to bolt from the sequel, I have to admit I don't mind it for the simple fact that it's opening notes of false happiness seem to parody the entire decade of the 80's itself.

"Oh, honey, doesn't it just feel great to wake up to a misty morning,

dressed like a J Crew ad, and ready to play tennis?"

Wes Craven handpicked Heather Langenkamp to be in the film precisely because she seemed real and down to earth. Picking someone "non-Hollywood," as Craven put it, measured that Nancy would feel like a genuine teenager. It also meant that her acting abilities might not be as shrewdly rehearsed as kids who grew up in the business. There are those who might chortle at some of her line deliveries.

But as Wes said himself in 1994's "New Nightmare," Nancy may have been written as a resourceful character but it is Langenkamp who gave her her strength. And to her credit, Langenkamp has always been proud of her role as the heroine of "Nightmare" series, even going so far as to help make a documentary chronicling its entire history (the forthcoming "Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy).

And I haven't even mentioned the fantastic score by Charles Bernstein, one of those perfect 80's horror soundtracks, that combines a propulsive electronic beat with a haunting, sing-song melody on synthesizer notes that seem to melt as you're listening to them.

Pay attention to the masterful way that Bernstein incorporates the "1, 2, Freddy's coming for you" children's song into his score and how the music manages to be both fun and scary, just like the movie itself. Bernstein's soundtrack really adds a whole other level of enjoyment to "Nightmare."

The idea of a phantom able to kill you in your dreams is absolutely genius, and Wes Craven was able to capitalize on it with a smart script. Notice the scene where Nancy enters the safety of her house, and the frantic music suddenly stops. Nancy runs upstairs - the audience thinks she's headed for safety - and suddenly her feet sink into the steps and a rumbly synth note kicks in, reminding us that as long as you're asleep you're never safe from Freddy.

This is a master class in horror filmmaking, one of the few American movies that is as colorful and delightfully macabre as a Dario Argento flick. All of the special effects, which are practical, hand-made, and non-computer enhanced, still hold up terrifically after over 30 years. That's more than you can say for most movies with CGI from just 3 or 4 years ago.

Sorry, Glen's mom...

that's your son's blood you're watching funnel to the ceiling.

If any of "Nightmare's" power has waned in the intervening years, it's only because of the mass merchandising of the franchise (which was out of Craven's hands) and the resulting familiarization of Freddy Krueger.

But just pop the original "Nightmare" back in and you'll soon be reminded of its surreal power. Perhaps it'll be during that opening scene, when Tina turns her head to see a sheep bleating in front of her while a man laughs menacingly from somewhere unseen, and she realizes that her world is about to be turned upside down...

God, I love this movie

BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS (2009) - 4/5 stars

Release: 2009

Director: Werner Herzog

Writer: William Finkelstein

Cast: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer, Brad Dourif, Xzibit, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Coolidge, Michael Shannon, Vondie Curtis Hall, Shawn Hatosy, Denzel Whitaker, Shea Whigham

Soundtrack: Mark Isham

Claim to fame: a semi-sequel/spin-off to Abel Ferarra's 1992 film "Bad Lieutenant" with Harvey Keitel; billed as the return of the Nicolas Cage that fans of "Wild at Heart" and "Raising Arizona" know and love

Rating: 4/5 stars

The story of Werner Herzog'z "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans" tells a dark, cosmic joke. And at the center of the maelstrom is Nicolas Cage giving a frantic, unhinged, and incredibly hilarious performance. Cage captures the manic highs and dead-end lows of a drug addict in a manner that is far more entertaining than most "drug films" and represents his best performance in at least 20 years.

Nic Cage don't give a %#(@ about probable cause

Sometimes when an actor delivers this particular kind of hyper-acting, it can seem like the rest of the movie is simply kind of existing around - or desperately trying to keep up with - their performance piece. See: Nicolas Cage in "Vampire's Kiss" or Crispin Glover in "River's Edge."

Fortunately, with "Bad Lieutenant" one senses that Herzog and Cage are totally in sync and Herzog is more than up to the task of crafting a compelling film around Cage's character (who Ain't-It-Cool-News' Quint accurately likened to a Universal Monster).

I could spend hours imagining the hilarity of this conversation

It starts with Herzog's unique directing flourishes, like the shot from an alligator's POV as it mourns the death of one of its brethren in a roadside accident; or Nicolas Cage stumbling through an arcade while under the influence of drugs, the lights and sounds of the arcade exaggerated for impressionistic effect, and the disembodied voice proclaiming "Insert coin to play" almost like some kind of metaphor for drug use.

There's also a scene of Cage driving at night, with prostitutes emerging in and out of the inky darkness to call unintelligibly after him, that would make David Lynch proud with its surreal quality.

Poor Louisiana alligator...

Herzog fills out his supporting cast with stellar actors, whose faces are both unfamiliar and familiar. Brad Dourif delivers a great turn as a bookie, while Shea Whigham steals every scene he's in (no small feat when you're acting against Cage) with his constant "Ohhhh yeahhhhh's." Michael Shannon and Fairuza Balk make the most of their bit parts as two fellow cops.

Val Kilmer is great in a limited role, playing a character who is seemingly sober yet somehow WORSE than Cage's drugged out lieutenant. On that note, I'd love to see a spin-off movie about Val's character. I can only imagine the kind of insanity that film would conjure up. I doubt Herzog would return to helm such a project so why don't we give it to someone like Tony Scott (who worked with Kilmer before on "Top Gun" and "Deja Vu"), who'd probably take the proceedings way too seriously - and thus make it even more hysterical?

Val Kilmer: don't call it a comeback

With Cage acting up a storm, the highlights come fast and frequent. There's Cage going behind the counter to fill his own Vicodin prescription ("Can I have my prescription now, PAH-LEASE?!?!"); Cage sneaking up behind an armed suspect and then basking in the praise of his fellow officers ("I love it, I love it"); Cage taking drug and sex bribes from a young couple outside a dance club ("Did your parents MOLEST you?!" is his character's idea of dirty talk); and his interrogation tactics with two well-to-do Southern ladies.

This is not to mention the bits of insanity you've probably already seen in the trailer: iguanas on coffee tables, Cage threatening to kill some drug dealers "'till the BREAK OF DAWN, BABY!" What makes all of it work is that Cage never once breaks character; he remains fully committed to the role and the reality of his bad lieutenant - notice his limp that grows more exaggerated as the film goes on - so that no matter how over the top he goes you're never taken out of the story.

With Nicolas Cage, this...

...quickly escalates to THIS.

By the time you reach the end of "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans," Herzog has taken what would have otherwise been a standard police procedural and turned it into a morbidly humorous treatise on karma. In every other film where a character is dependent on drugs, you almost certainly know what you're in for: a downward spiral as the addict becomes increasingly reliant on their substance until their entire life implodes.

This film is anything but predictable. And since Cage makes his lieutenant so damn likable (or at least watchable), as ugly and brutal as his behavior is you can't help but smile and laugh when everything falls into his lap despite little to no effort on his part. Hey, sometimes life works out like that...and here, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Anddddd - CUT!

FALLEN ANGELS (1995) - 5/5 stars

Release: 1995

Director: Wong Kar-Wai

Writer: Wong Kar-Wai

Cast: Leon Lai, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Michelle Reis, Charlie Yeung, Karen Mok, Man-Lei Chan

Soundtrack: Frankie Chan and Roel A. Garcia (original music), Various Artists including Massive Attack, The Flying Pickets, and Marianne Faithfull

Claim to fame: a seminal but oft-overlooked 1995 film from internationally acclaimed writer and director Wong Kar-Wai

Rating: 5/5 stars

Some directors just create a world with their films. A world that you can become lost in, or even an inhabitant of, if you allow yourself. Wong Kar-Wai is one such director.

Along with his frequent collaborator, cinematographer Christopher Doyle, Wong Kar-Wai has created a series of films (including "In the Mood for Love" and "Happy Together") that are as seductive as they are devastating: full of rich colors, exotic fabrics, immaculate interior decorating, and lovesick characters.

It's a Wong Kar-Wai movie so of course everybody smokes

"Fallen Angels" is easily one of his best works. It's the flipside to "Chunking Express," which came just a year earlier in 1994. Whereas that daylight-soaked film focused primarily on the excitement and anticipation of beginning to fall in love, "Fallen Angels" is the perpetual twilight of unrequited love, jealousy, and one night stands. This is what Wong Kar-Wai excels at.

The close-ups of Michelle Reis as she rests against a glowing neon jukebox as though it props her very existence up, cigarette in hand, her dress seeming to undulate on its own, is a master-class on how to convey emotions through images and music alone.

Mood music

The plot follows two seemingly unrelated stories that dovetail nicely by the end of the film. Leon Lai is a detached, emotionless hitman who carries out his job with a ruthless efficiency, largely because he leaves all the decision-making and planning to a young woman with connections to the Chinese Triad, played by Michelle Reis. The duo rarely ever see each other but Reis maintains an intense, unrequited love for her partner.

Elsewhere on the neon-lit streets of Hong Kong, an eccentric mute played by Takeshi Kaneshiro tries to make enough money to take care of his older father and finds himself falling in (and out) of love for the very first time.

There are several motifs that harken back to "Chunking Express": Michelle Reis lets herself into Leon Lai's apartment both to clean it and to deliver information about his upcoming hits; Takeshi Kaneshiro's character has gone mute after eating a can of expired pineapple; and Takeshi's father runs the Chunking Hotel.

Michelle Reis: deadly beauty

While "Fallen Angels" creates a world unto itself, you may truly have to give yourself over to the film to enjoy it as it seems to follow its own internal sense of logic at times. Scenes of Takeshi Kaneshiro smelling Charlie Yeung's hair or pretending to put his arm around her while she stares disinterestedly out a window would probably seem creepy or strange if Takeshi wasn't so handsome.

Likewise, the moments where he breaks into closed down shops and then harasses random passerbys into becoming his patrons will seem unrealistic to some unless you allow yourself to be taken in by the movie (or just chalk it up to cultural differences, this being Hong Kong in the early 90's and all).

I'll have a cup of tea and tell you my dreaming

"Fallen Angels" has some of the best action sequences I've ever witnessed, which is almost hysterical because they're not really action sequences at all. Leon Lai takes out a few targets during the course of the film; each assignment is extremely brief but choreographed down to the micro-detail. Wong Kar-Wai seems to say, "So people love John Woo movies because of his use of slow motion? Then I'm going to use even SLOWER motion."

Sparks fly, bodies are torn apart by bullets, furniture is blasted open…and yet it's not exhilarating like "Hard Boiled." Somehow the action feels more realistic - despite how invincible Leon Lai seems - and as though it's primarily to reveal character. Indeed, these shoot-outs are what I'd call "existential action scenes" more than anything.

"Fallen Angels" contains some of the best shoot-outs I've ever seen,

even if they fall under the "blink and you'll miss them" category

I really cannot praise Christopher Doyle's cinematography enough. There is perhaps no one else working in film who knows how to photography women quite like he does. Michelle Reis is an attractive gal in real life but in "Fallen Angels" she looks as beautiful as I've ever seen anyone look; the kind of instantly striking visual appeal that harkens back to the silent era. And KINO Video's recent blu-ray edition reveals just how stunning the photography in "Fallen Angels" is.

It's worth noting that, much like "Chunking Express," the atmosphere in this film is erotically charged. In "Chunking Express," the intimate moments were about the joy of exploring a partner's body for the first time; here, they're used to communicate the character's isolation and loneliness. And yes, there's a famous scene of Michelle Reis writhing herself into ecstasy on Leon Lai's bed while he's away (and while she's wearing fishnet stockings, no less). It's a pleasant change of pace considering that most Hong Kong movies are devoid of sexuality outside of Category III exploitation.

Oh my...

Granted, the film isn't perfect. As I mentioned, it tends to follow its own logic and whims so you have to choose to go along for the ride or potentially be pulled out of the film. I've never been a fan of actress Karen Mok but I have to say that she's especially annoying here: her character seems perpetually drunk or just plain crazy, it's hard to tell, but I have difficulty imagining that any sensible man would pick her over the smoldering good-looks of Michelle Reis.

Quibbles aside, I'm genuinely surprised by how divided the reviews for "Fallen Angels" are at Netflix, with several 1-star ratings and one reviewer describing the first 15 minutes as nothing but "shots of wide hallways, narrow corridors, and escalators." Some may find "Fallen Angels" to be self-consciously "cool," but it's just as easy to interpret that sense of style as parody. All the elements of your standard Hong Kong flick are here: the distant hitman, bloody shoot-outs, the femme fatale, and extreme emotions. However, Wong Kar-Wai skews the genre tropes just enough that you could easily see this as a parody or a deconstruction.

Takeshi Kaneshiro's performance is broadly physical, given that he

can't talk, and it's one of the best roles of his career

What Wong Kar-Wai was expertly able to capture with both "Fallen Angels" and "Chunking Express," and part of what makes his work so compelling, is the paradoxical feeling of isolation that comes from living in a bustling city - finding yourself reduced to but one among many (millions in the case of Hong Kong) - tempered with the hope and promise that, just when you find yourself at your lowest, you could brush elbows with someone who might save your life.

Young hearts be free

NOWHERE (1997) - 5/5 stars

Release: 1997

Director: Gregg Araki

Writer: Gregg Araki

Cast: James Duvall, Rachel True, Nathan Bexton, Chiara Mastroianni, Debi Mazer, Kathleen Robertson, Joshua Gibran Mayweather, Jordan Ladd, Christina Applegate, Sarah Lassez, Guillermo Diaz, Jeremy Jordan, Alan Boyce, Jaason Simmons, Ryan Phillipe, Heather Graham, Scott Caan, Thyme Lewis, Mena Suvari

Soundtrack: Various Artists including the Cocteau Twins, Massive Attack, Slowdive, The Verve, and many more

Claim to fame: gregg araki's criminally underrated late 90's masterpiece that is currently unavailable on DVD in the United States; one of those 90's movies that features a ton of famous people before they were famous; probably my favorite movie of all time

Rating: 5/5 stars

At the time of its 1997 release, "Nowhere" represented the culmination of writer/director Gregg Araki's considerable talents. He'd honed the teenage confessional aspect with "Totally Fucked Up" in 1994, which almost seemed like a precursor/test-run for MTV's "Real World," and injected a healthy dose of chaos and Expressionism to the formula with "The Doom Generation" (1995).

While "Doom Generation" was a visually intense and fun film to watch, it lacked any emotional pull. "Nowhere" works because it fuses the anarchy and sexuality of that film with a genuine, beating human heart.

"Love is stronger than death."-The The

It's fair to say that "Nowhere" is Araki's most "mainstream" film: it stars a literal gallery of young stars who were either mega-famous at that point (Shannon Doherty, Christina Applegate) or who would go on to become mega-famous (Ryan Phillipe, Heather Graham, Mena Suvari, Denise Richards, Scott Caan, and more).

Araki uses the star-studded cast to ease an audience who may not be familiar with his past work into his world of devil-may-care sexuality, angst, and sudden bursts of ultra-violence.

Rose McGowan, Traci Lords, and Shannon Doherty show up in a cameo

that pays homage to the works of Bret Easton Ellis ("Less than Zero," "Rules of Attraction")

Wait, what am I saying? Araki doesn't bother to ease the viewer at all; we're thrown headfirst down the rabbit hole from the opening zoom in on a misty shower stall set to the music of Slowdive, our protagonist Dark Smith in the midst of an intense masturbation session as his vivid fantasy life - involving hetero sex, S&M, and homoerotic longing - is intercut with close-ups of his soapy body. Yeah, this is a Gregg Araki film, no doubt about it.

What Dark's forbidden object of desire, Montgomery, says about Dark holds just as true for "Nowhere" itself: "You've got the deepest, darkest eyes. It's like I could just tumble right into them and fall forever."

Welcome to nowhere

The plot, so much as there is one, follows the life of several L.A. college students (with names like Dingbat, Handjob, Zero, and Lucifer) during a span of less than 24 hours as they skip class, do drugs, and head to an almost fabled party by the end of the night. The film is a kaleidoscope of colors - lighting is always to the extreme, with vibrant red and blues hues - and expressionistic sets, like Dark's bedroom walls featuring a mural of a guy about ready to blow his brains out.

Generation Blank

When "Nowhere" came out, the tagline used to market it was "It's 90210 on acid!" which is mostly just a cutesy selling point but the film does have the same snarky bite ("Don't be a seizure queen!") and varied cast of many 90's teen ensembles - except this is one for the rest of us; that is, anyone who's ever felt alone, awkward, insecure, suicidal, lost, or that society is driving them insane. Imagine a more hetereo-leaning live-action adaptation of a Dennis Cooper novel (but with at least a glimmer of hope instead of complete and utter nihilism) - and you're halfway to capturing what "Nowhere" is like.

Anyone who knows me knows I automatically have to love a movie that contains an exchange like this:

ALYSSA: Look, have you ever heard of the Rapture?

MONTGOMERY: The Siouxsie and the Banshees album?

It's not a party without...

"Nowhere" is wall-to-wall kinky sex (you'll never look at chocolate candy the same way again) and drug abuse, from recreational use of ecstasy to full-on heroin addiction. Once the shock wears off, you realize that Gregg Araki is creating a hyper-stylized reflection of our reality onscreen…one in which the free-wheeling debauchery and rampant jadedness of our culture makes it so that meaningful human connections can be almost impossible to make.

Couldn't have said it better myself

The film is also wall-to-wall music, with Gregg Araki forgoing a traditional score in favor of using his favorite artists on the soundtrack. There is rarely a moment of this film that doesn't have music, even if it's playing faintly in the background. Araki's tastes lean towards shoegaze, dream pop, and classic alternative music - so if you love artists like the Cocteau Twins, Catherine Wheel, Sonic Youth, Suede, and Massive Attack, you're going to be overjoyed here.

The soundtrack is truly one of the best parts of an already amazing movie. The title of the film could easily be derived from the album "Nowhere" by Ride or the song by Curve (Araki's first movie was named after a Jesus & Mary Chain song).

Violence tends to erupt suddenly and without warning in Gregg Araki movies

Granted, it's worth noting that the music is not as selectively employed as in Araki's later works - never has Sigur Ros' music seem so transcendent as in the closing moments of "Mysterious Skin" (2005) - and the constant background noise can be a bit distracting at times, especially if you're familiar with the music and are playing a continual game of "Hey, I know that song! Who sang it again?" But considering that "Mysterious Skin" is the film that got me into shoegaze and dream pop music, I'm not about to complain about "Nowhere"'s blissful tunes.

"Nowhere" is visually stunning from beginning to end

The cast is uniformly excellent. It's easy to overlook James Duvall's Keanu-like non-acting but he's really the glue that holds the entire film together. If we didn't believe in him as a dumb but innocent, horny but good-hearted kid who just wants to meet his soulmate, then the whole movie would fall apart. But he's great, even if he doesn't get to show the range he did in "Totally Fucked Up."

Some comedians do a great Keanu Reeves impression, but

James Duvall does one for the entire movie. You can't top that!

Rachel True ("The Craft") delivers a believable turn as Duvall's kinda-sorta-girlfriend. Ryan Phillipe gives probably the best performance of his career, even he spends most of the film having sex, talking about death, or delivering lines like "Your tongue is cool."

"I...wanna...die. LET'S ALL DIE!"-Ryan Phillipe in "Nowhere"

Christina Applegate is similarly great as the gawky, adoring type (I'm sure the braces helped her get into character); same goes for Jordan Ladd ("Cabin Fever") as a perky, sex-crazed teen who, for whatever reason, spends a lot of her time dwelling on the end of the word. Then again, nearly every character in the film seems to have armageddon or their own personal demise at the front of their minds.

Parental units, in what limited role they play in the film, are completely ineffectual and portrayed by former sitcom stars like Christopher Knight ("Brady Bunch") and David Leisure ("Emtpy Nest").

I had to make a screen grab of Chrstina Applegate's shirt, one of my

favorite fashion crimes ever committed to celluloid

Special mention must be made of Nathan Bexton ("Go," "The In Crowd"), an actor who never really took off during the late 90's for whatever reason, but who completely steals the film for me. He plays the shy, slightly-stuttering dreamboat with mesmerizing, mis-matched eyes who everybody refers to as "weird."

His unlikely bond with Dark is kept in the background of the movie but is really the heart of the entire story. Bexton brings Montgomery to life with an almost asexual innocence that is intentionally missing from the rest of the cast.

Nathan Bexton: forgotten teen idol

With this film, Gregg Araki holds up a funhouse mirror to the 90's, distorting its "no fear"/"whateverrr" attitude into a surreal and multi-colored tour through…nowhere. Every character is lost, alone, and yearning for genuine love in some way; even if they've become seduced by the lure of potent drugs or casual sex. It's the kind of movie that could have easily devolve into trash cinema or painful parody if it wasn't for the fact that Araki knows when to keep his tongue planted firmly in cheek and when to go for those tender, real moments between actors.

For all of its chaos and in-your-face attitude, the moments of intimacy in this movie are almost uncomfortable intimate; the characters kiss and talk the way young people really do kiss and talk when no one else is around. Even when space aliens show up, it simply fits in with Araki's madcap design, with the extraterrestrials serving as a potent metaphor for…well, whatever you want them to, really.

Never underestimate this film's ability to surprise you

Considering that most of the characters in "Nowhere" are in the 18-20 range, I'm not sure what it says about me that I feel like I can relate to this movie more and more each time I watch it. I'd like to think it means that the issues "Nowhere" tackles are universal for anyone at any time who feels lost in the cultural storm and is hoping for someone else else to break through the noise.

This is a fantastic film from a master stylist who never lets his style get in the way of what's really important - but actually uses that style to emphasize, underscore, and even exaggerate what's important. For a certain kind of filmgoer, "Nowhere" might just be a lifesaver.

"Your shit means nothing to me"