OUTLAND (1981) - 3/5 stars

Director: Peter Hyams

Writer: Peter Hyams

Cast: Sean Connery, Peter Boyle, Frances Sternhagen, James Sikking, Kika Markham, Clarke Peters, Steve Berkoff

Soundtrack: Jerry Goldsmith

Claim to fame: Sean Connery...in spaaaaace

Rating: 3/5 stars

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to The Connery Factor. You may already be familiar with it: it's the cinematic law that states that the presence of Sir Sean Connery will make any movie good, or at least watchable. It's in full effect here with "Outland" (see also: "The Rock"). The only movie it didn't work on was "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" but that flick was so bad it basically forced Connery to retire from acting, so that kinda nulls it out.

Don't #$&% with Connery...especially in zero gravity

Anyway, back to "Outland": some men are so manly that you can take them on land (train sequence in "From Russia With Love"), sea (underwater battle in "Thunderball"), air (the zeppelin ride in "The Last Crusade"), or the farthest reaches of space and they're still bad-ass no matter what their surroundings. Sean Connery is one such man and he's what prevents "Outland" from being just another typical movie for director Peter Hyams.

The film fits rather comfortably in Hyams' ouevre, falling somewhere between the serious-minded science fiction of "2010: The Year We Make Contact" (1984) and the b-movie pleasures of "Time Cop" (1994). Hyams wrote the screenplay himself and while he doesn't exactly have an ear for dialogue, the script is functional. There's even a kitchen fight (with Connery's head perilously close to a bubbling fryer) that recalls a similar fight in Hyams' other Van Damme vehicle, "Sudden Death."

Millions of women left disappointed that Sean Connery

isn't an item on the menu at McDonalds

Now the opening credits of "Outland" had me worried that this was going to a pretentious "Alien" ripoff - Hyams even roped in Jerry Goldsmith to do the score - but the movie is more of a space Western or "Alien" minus the actual aliens. This smashed my expectations of a film about Sean Connery policing the Mos Eisley cantina from "Star Wars" (which I would still love to see).

"Outland" actually has some nice looking model work, especially for 1981

But "Outland" succeeds as a classic tale of good vs. indifference. Connery's character is a no-nonsense, genuinely good man who has the occasional bouts of self-doubt but just wants to see that the right thing is done. He's the new marshall on a mining facility full of people who will gladly accept payouts from greedy managers or turn the other way while Connery is shivved in the back. After Connery's wife and child leave him, he's left alone on the station with no one to trust but a tough-skinned female doctor. The two of them discover a plot to smuggle llegal drugs onto the station.

Connery decides to put a stop to things, despite the fact that everyone onboard basically tells him to his face that's he gonna wind up dead for putting his nose where it doesn't belong. The fact that Connery can't simply allow himself to be bribed like everyone else - the notion that he is the one good man on an entire space station of lowlifes - is what really makes "Outland" a compelling watch.

In his Bond movies, Connery always had a quip after he killed someone.

In "Outland," he just blows you away with a shotgun blast and calls it a day.

The production design shares some of the spotlight with Connery; although the film lacks the strong artistic direction of films like "Alien" or "Blade Runner," the sets have the benefit of looking functional and authentic. The barracks in particular are an impressive array of white chainlink fences, uncomfortable-looking cots, and guard rails, through which an exhilarating chase sequence occurs.

Sadly, just when the plot was ramping up I kinda lost interest. Probably because the film turned into Connery in a spacesuit, floating through the void of space, trying to get the drop (literally) on some thugs, and it honestly seemed a little...silly?

Connery dares a facehugger to try and leap onto his helmet. He dares it!

Regardless, you're left with a terse, well-acted (excellent character performances from Peter Boyle and Frances Sternhagen) sci-fi action movie. It's clearly modeled after "High Noon" but there are enough new touches, like a futuristic drug that literally makes you work until you die and some impressive model work on the mining facility, that make it stand on its own. Netflix says the movie is nearly 120 minutes but it didn't feel that long at all. Must be the Connery Factor...

Nothing like a sweaty game of racquetball for Sean Connery

after killing a bunch of no-good perps

SCANNERS (1981) - 5/5 stars

Release: 1981

Director: David Cronenberg

Writer: David Cronenberg

Cast: Stephen Lack, Michael Ironside, Patrick McGoohan, Jennifer O'Neil, Lawrence Dane, Robert A. Silverman

Soundtrack: Howard Shore

Claim to fame: "The movie where that guy's head completely explodes!"

Rating: 5/5 stars

"Scanners" is one of those movies you can watch every few years and it just gets better and better. Way before there was ever a X-Men movie or "The Matrix," this was the premiere science fiction film about two opposing factions with incredible mutant powers, pitted against each other with the fate of humanity hanging in the balance. You've even got Patrick McGoohan (of the legendary TV series "The Prisoner") in the Professor X role!

Just another day at the office for Michael Ironside

David Cronenberg followed up his more sexual, provocative works like "Shivers" and "Rapid" with this sleek thriller that started what was arguably his best decade - the 80's. Cronenberg was able to balance more commercial vehicles like "Dead Zone" and "The Fly" with two of his most shocking and intimate works: "Dead Ringers" and "Videodrome." Caught somewhere between those two modes of filmmaking, "Scanners" mesmerizes with its portrayal of a near-future run by impersonal corporations and shady pharmaceutical companies.

You might want to think twice about using crystal meth as a weight loss tool

The locations are split between the coldness of austere office buildings and chemical laboratories; and more open, human spaces like a crowded mall or an art gallery. The entire production has this stark, clinical feel to it, the kind that can only come from an 80's Cronenberg film. It's easy to forget how violent "Scanners" is but here in 2010, the blood and viscera still shocks: heads explode, veins pop, humans are immolated by sheer psychic force. The year "Scanners" was made the general public had no idea what an "internet" was, yet protagonist Cameron Vale hacks into a computer system - using his mind! - over a telephone line.

The sets in "Scanners" are truly mesmerizing

Main actor Stephen Lack is unfairly criticized in many of the reviews at Netflix. You have to realize that his character is supposed to be somewhat blank and child-like; after years of having other people's voices trapped in his head, he's literally thinking for himself for the very first time. A good performance in a genre movie like this is one that carries you through the strange happenings of the story and never once takes you out of the movie; Stephen Lack accomplishes that. I'm sure he acted exactly as he was directed and I doubt Cronenberg would have worked with him again in "Dead Ringers" if he didn't agree.

Of course, Michael Ironside truly dominates this film - this is perhaps his best role as a villain and Ironside clearly relishes the chance to be a terrifying heavy. And I'd be amiss if I didn't mention Howard Shore's magnificent score, which presents an unholy matrimony between 80's synthesizers and a traditional orchestra.

Way too many people at Netflix are making cracks about Stephen Lack

"lacking" in the acting department. No - he's a good actor!

Due to some bizarre regulations regarding government funding at the time, "Scanners" had to go into production before the script was even completed. Reportedly Cronenberg would work on the screenplay between 4am and 8am and the film crew was actually scouting for locations *during shooting*. Surprisingly, this almost improvised style of filmmaking didn't really hamper the movie itself and any disjointedness actually fits "Scanners'" overall tone.

The only thing that stopped me was how one minute Patrick McGoohan would describe Scanners as "freaks of nature" or "genetic abominations" right to Stephen Lack's face, and the next he'd talk about how they had the potential to usher in a new age of human enlightenment. Gee, that's helpful: expect the mutant anomalies to pull humanity out of the mess they're in at at the same time you're openly prejudiced against them!

A whole hell of a lot of people spontaneously combust in this movie

A script this economical arguably wouldn't be filmed today: "Scanners" tells the viewer only the bare minimum of what they need to know and even leaves much of that up to interpretation. Exposition is invariably delivered from unreliable characters, whether it's Patrick McGoohan's shady mentor with a dark past or Michael Ironside. Ironside reveals all by the end of the movie - but how much can we trust this guy? He's the main villain and he literally drilled a hole through his forehead to "let the people out" of his skull!

I love how much of the plot is shrouded in doubt. It lets the viewer decide for themselves what's going on and it mirrors the life of a Scanner, always on the run and questioning their allegiances at every turn. Really, "Scanners" is just such a classic for anybody who cares about genre movies and now that it's available on Instant there's no reason not to revisit it.

Did you really think I could talk about "Scanners" without posting this picture?